stop making sense

2-THOUSAND-&-9

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?
Moved away from home.

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I never make them. I think they are pointless. If you don’t plan on puttign any effort in, then don’t. But then, I think if you do plan on doing something, you should just as readily be willing to keep it secret incase you fail. Which is normally how things end up in my case.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Genetically close to me, yes. I have many brothers and sisters in Australia - none of whom talk to me anymore. In the past three years I’ve heard of the many nephews and nieces I have, but never had any contact or anything. It’s quite sad, but it’s life I suppose.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
My godmother Annette died after struggling to live with motor neurone disease. I’m still heartbroken.

5. What countries did you visit?
France.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?

Some friends I can rely on.

7.What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

I can’t remember any dates, but here are some moments:
The day I finished my dissertation.
The day of my graduation.
The day of my Graduation ball.
The day I moved to Glasgow.
The day I started college.
A few weeks into college when I realised I could draw.
Going to see Jeremy Jay on my birthday.
Hanging out in the flat with Gemma.

8.What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Being self reliant and starting something new on my own.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Losing my boyfriend and not keeping it together.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I got swine flu,  but that isn’t uncommon here.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
My hamster Rufus, or 2p return flights to Paris.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Only my own.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Both of my ex-boyfriends, one of my friends, my father (again), my brother, my sister and her boyfriend. Also my supposed friend who I lived with for four years whom I never hear back from. It really hurts me.

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?

Bat For Lashes - Daniel
Atlas Sound - Criminal/Shelia
Dirty Projectors feat. David Byrne - Knotty Pine
Johnny Cash - One Piece at a Time
Gershwin - Rhapsody in Blue
Brigette Bardot - Moi Je Joue

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Happier.
b) thinner or fatter? Thinner.
c) richer or poorer? Poorer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Having fun.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Stressing and worrying.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
At home with my mam and sister watching Meet Me In St Louis and Gone With the Wind.

21. Did you fall in love in 2009?
I was in love already.

22. How many one-night stands?
None.

23. What was your favorite TV program?
World’s Strictest Parents and Harry Hill’s TV Burp.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Dislike people, or feel let down by them - but never hate.

25. What was the best book you read?
Charles Bukowski - Ham on Rye
John Fante- Wait Until Spring Bandini

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Going to see Atlas Sound in a tiny venue in Paris by a canal and getting to sit next to him on the stage.

27. What did you want and get?
Melbourne.

28. What did you want and not get?
A lover to move city with me. And another hamster.

29. What was your favorite film of this year?
Either Up or Coco Before Chanel.

30. What did you do on your birthday?
I went to college and then my best friends took me to see Jeremt Jay play a gig in a basement venue.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Money.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
Grunge.

33. What kept you sane?
Records, Gemma.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Cheryl Vole, Kate Moss and Chuck Bass from Gossip Girl.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
The second morgages of political figures. And OBAMA!!!

36. Who did you miss?
Anette, Andy and my Ma.

37. Who was the best new person you met?
Gemma.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009?
That you don’t need other people to be happy.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
MAKE A NOISE LIKE AN ANIMAL!!!

"Do you believe in love at first sight?" I said, "I did the first time"

I’ve only been off college for one day and I already feel sad about it. I have full time hours from my job now, but I don’t really want them. Fair enough, Christmas money etc etc, but all I want is to go back home and see my mama and  can’t. It is super frustrating. On Christmas eve I take the 4hour drive back home - but only after working, which means I will get home at around 8pm at night. What a waste of an eve… At least I have Christmas day and some of boxing day to spend with her. At times I wonder why I moved. It doesn’t feel Christmasy in Glasgow at all - there are plenty of lights and trees around, and I assure you it is very, very cold, but there isn’t that feeling that soon you will be at home getting excited for Christmas morning. Everyone here is all about the party, but I’m not. I just want to have a nice time.

I’m in the middle of reading Charles Bukowski’s The Most Beautiful Girl in Town short stories. I don’t know why it’s taken me so long to discover him, but it has. It’s the most exciting stuff I’ve read in years. Not in terms of excitement, just in that  ‘I can’t wait to get back to my book’ kind of feeling. He surpasses many I have decided to be literary greats. He is awesome. I bought a documentary about him the other day, and I plan to stay in bed all day and watch it with my heated blanket on.

It’s been a bit of a weird time lately. My ex boyfriend still lives up North, and though I don’t see him often, the same feelings I had for him are being carried around. He’s visited me a few times, but after Paris I decided that a decision had to be made regarding our relationship. He told me he was going to move with me, and I found out not long before the move that he wasn’t. It was a bad time considering he was/is the one person I feel I can trust and rely on fully. He has always been there for me, and since I moved he hasn’t. It’s weird when that security blanket has been taken from you.

Anyway, after Paris, he reassured me again that he had no immediate plans to move down and I was heart broken. It was that horrible physical pain you feel in your chest. Awful. Though, after ignoring him for two weeks, he got in touch and told me he had decided to get a flat in glasgow and asked if I would consider moving in with him. I’d never thought of it before but now it is all I can think of. Not only will I have a new flatmate, but he will allow me a kitten in our swanky two bedroom flat. The downside (although to be honest, I am viewing it as a plus side) is that he will only be there at weekends whilst he searches for a job. That is fine by me having a free reign in a flat. I’m all for it.

So, tomorrow I plan to arrange viewings for flats in the Merchant City. I am so excited. I’ve already named the kitten Ralphie in my mind.

To be Made of Glass

I got my record player and midget guitar delivered to me the other day and ever since I just can’t stop listening to Two Suns by Bat For Lashes. As soon as it was released, my boyfriend at the time bought it for me. Her previous album, Fur & Gold, had been bought for me by my boyfriend previous to him. I feel so feminine when I listen to it. She is so magical. Siren Song and Glass are two of the best things I’ve listened to in a very long time. When faced with the mass of vinyl I have acquired from friends, boyfriends, the attic etc, it’s always what I go for. Followed by Gershwin.

Today at college I had a block of photography and a block of screenprinting. I have come up with these two pictures ot print so far:

I did both of these on Adobe Illustrator. It took absolutely ages and having never used to programme before, I think I’ve done a pretty good job. We got a couple of not-in-depth classes using it, but I managed to do these on my own. My teacher wasn’t keen to let me do them, but after a lot of stroppiness, she eventually agreed.

So, now I am on holiday for three weeks, which means more hours at the record shop, and less time to shop for presents I cant afford.

She's got everything she needs, she's an artist, she don't look back

Yeah, so, pretty long title there. Long time no see on here.

Well, I spent the summer working and slaving and trying to feel something more than despair. Found a pretty awesome flatmate to move in with, and he has been awesome. Made some good friends in Glasgow, but ended up splitting up with my boyfriend before the move. Sad times all round, but we have remained friends.

Shortly after moving (and getting my honours degree!) I started at the beginning, and am now doing an NQ in college in printmaking and photography. Amazingly, we study digital photography, darkroom, illustration, lino cutting, screenprinting, bookbinding, computer aided design and painting. I’ve never felt so good about myself. I enjoy it immensely and am pretty sure I’m at the top of the class in most subjects, which is very flattering considering I have never studied art or drawn in a class before. I’m surprising myself everyday.

I’m working in a record shop on the trendiest west end road in Glasgow and feeling very happy with myself at the moment. Glasgow times = good times.